All Saint's Day

If you know me well, you know that I love Halloween. It's my favorite holiday because I firmly believe that anyone can celebrate it. Children can go trick-or-treating (in the US at least), adults have an excuse to throw a party (well, if we didn't have a pandemic), and EVERYONE can dress up as a fun character. I enjoy the decorations and I love handing out candy to trick-or-treaters. This year felt very different. We usually have 40-50 kiddos stop by for candy but I think this year we probably maxed out at 25 or 30. My spouse and I carved a pumpkin and I'm hoping to roast the seeds tomorrow. I have a super cute photo of the two of us with the jack-o-lantern but my husband dislikes having his photo taken and especially dislikes it being posted online so instead here's a good one of me with our jack-o-lantern:

I can't put my finger on it but even though we did all of the Halloween activities, it just didn't feel like Halloween. I blame the constant low-grade anxiety that the pandemic has caused.

Pretty Countertop & Some Rambling

Well, the school year started which is why I haven't updated this in two months. 😳 Sorry about that! *knocks on wood* I have gotten into a good pace at work so I no longer feel like I need to just fall into bed once I get home. Plus, today is a 3-day weekend (Let's call it Indigenous Peoples' Day, shall we?) so I was able to get a lot done around the house and now here I am, just past 8pm, trying to stay awake because I'm a bird and my brain thinks, "Oh, it's dark? It's time to go to sleep!"

The Sunroom

It's time for you to see the final counter top! It's so pretty!

It's just so darn pretty!

We also placed the aquarium. Hopefully we will get an even bigger aquarium some day.

I don't have a photo yet of the painted cabinet but it looks great, too!

COVID-19

My county now has 5,801 cases with 93 deaths. Looking back at my last post, the fatality rate has gone from ~1% to ~1.6%. That does concern me. At the same time, I'm pleasantly surprised that the case number didn't skyrocket when schools opened. I can't speak for other districts but I think mine has a good set of guidelines to encourage everyone wears masks, we stay socially distant when possible, and we minimize visitors to the campus. As a nation, we are at 7.83 million cases with 215 thousand being fatal. The worldwide numbers show a similar ratio: 37.7 million cases, 1.08 million fatal. I don't want to spend too much time on this. I mention it because I think these data will be interesting to look back upon in the future.

Work

I have to start this section by saying that teachers are doing an amazing job right now. Many teachers have commented to me, "You got out at the right time" and I have to agree. I don't know how they are not completely losing their shit daily. I have been working longer hours (read: over 40 per week) but it's nothing compared to what the teachers are doing. My spouse is spending 45-50 hours at work and then comes home and spends another 2-3 hours each weekday plus I would estimate at least 10 hours on the weekend. After all of this, he is still only just keeping up. None of this time is going toward working ahead much at all. I'm praying that as we (everyone who works in our district and campus) keep moving through this school year we will figure out what works and what doesn't work so that hopefully teachers will be back to a manageable amount of work each week. 

Here's my idea (which I'm sure many of you have already heard because I'm telling anyone who's willing to listen!): every Friday should be a half-day for students who are on campus. The second half of the day they would be required to work remotely. The rest of the day teachers should be given time to put in attendance, grade assignments, enter grades, catch up on emails, etc. There should be no scheduled meetings during this time. If we require all students to be remote for the 2nd half of the day, I don't think we would have to add days to our calendar. Right now we are asking teachers to pivot and change things rapidly. We are asking them to teach 6-7 in-person classes PLUS 6-7 remote classes. Then they have their conference period taken away once a week to cover for teachers who don't have a team planning period. We are asking them to do so much more and yet we are giving them less time than before. In my opinion, it is unreasonable to ask so much and not give the tools (tools = time) to accomplish what is required. Side note: we would want to rotate the schedule so that Friday week 1 would be periods 1-4 in person, Friday week 2 would be periods 5-8 in person, etc. Complicated? A bit. But it would help with labs, hours needed for CTE (Career & Technical Education) courses, etc.

I hate to sound like I'm being negative or I'm just looking for things to complain about. I am extremely grateful for the job I have and for the team I am privileged to work with. However, I also recognize where improvements can be made. 

Personally, I am only slightly behind in my work. I have worked overtime every week since at least the first week of September, but I feel like it's probably since August started. I feel fairly confident that I will be able to get back to 40 hour work weeks this week or next. Oh dang. I just remembered that it's the end of the grading period so parents are able to switch their learning option (whether their student is remote or in-person). That 40 hour week may have to wait a while longer.*

Church

My Thursday night small group is going well. I love those guys so much. It's really awesome to realize that these people who used to intimidate me are now my friends. I can now recognize that they are regular people like me. I hate name dropping but I'll just say that they are intimidating because we have a former headmistress, a bigwig in the county government, heads of companies, THE lady who runs all the "behind the scenes" at the church (there's always one!), et al. Back when this group started in February, I was pretty darn scared of trying to lead them. Now I'm 100% comfortable with them and just love how we can really be ourselves around each other.

Our church now offers two services on Sundays: a live Facebook video stream of the service at 9am and a communion service in the parking lot at 10:30 (masks required, socially distanced, etc). I haven't been going to the parking lot service because it's limited space and I feel like I don't need to be there. You see, 80% of our congregation is 55 years or older. For many people, church is their main form of socialization. I am so incredibly blessed to have a wonderful spouse and to enjoy where I work so, socially speaking, the pandemic isn't that bad for me. If someone is only able to leave their house for Sunday communion service, I don't want to take their spot. However, I dearly miss the Eucharist. I won't go into details just now but suffice it to say that I feel a very person connection to God when I take communion and it's hurting to keep waiting for it. I think that I will talk to my church and see if the parking lot service usually fills up. If there's space for me, I would love to go even if it's only once per month. Here's hoping!

Time to wrap things up

As usual, this post really got away from me. It's funny how I always think "Oh, I'll just post a quick update" but once I start typing I think of a million things I want to write down! It's especially odd because all at once I want EVERYONE in the world to read this (hello, ego!) but part of me wants NO ONE to read it because I do my best to be completely honest here. Honesty means vulnerability and feeling vulnerable makes me pretty darn anxious. I guess that's why I like having a blog but I'm not sure I would want to do a vlog (video blog). It's nice to be able to edit quickly and easily well before hitting the "publish" button. Anywho, thank you for reading my ramblings. This post has been especially cathartic. Lots of love and peace to all of you!

P.S. - I was just about to publish this when I realized that I would love to talk about Halloween! Gah! Maybe next time. 

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*I'm sure a few of you are rolling your eyes that I ever work just 40 hours per week. Please keep in mind that I make well below the annual median personal income in the US. I made a trade-off when I chose this job: much lower pay for much lower stress and fewer hours. I do not regret this decision but I dislike the implication that just because I don't work as many hours as others means I don't work hard/there's no way I could be mentally exhausted. Each individual can handle a different amount of stress and, therefore, a different number of hours working a certain job. Please believe me when I say that, some weeks, working 45 hours at my job is truly exhausting.

-Clare G. S.

Waking Up White

This is a long post but I've divided it into sections to hopefully make it more readable. Please read the first section but feel free to skip any others that aren't of interest to you. 😊

Racism in the US

Things are really quiet again about racism here in the US. The good news is my church will be starting a book study of the book Waking Up White by Debby Irving. I'm facilitating the group that will meet Thursday evenings at 6pm. This is a great book to start the conversation about race. I know many will dislike that the book we are reading is from the point-of-view of a white person but I think that's why it's a good start. We cannot fix a problem if we don't see that it exists. This books shows what we as white people don't see (I very much include myself in this group) and it's very easy to relate to the author and recognize that I see the world through a very similar filter that she sees. I would love for you to join us in reading this book! Please note, even though this is being done by my church, you do not have to be Christian to join us. As long as you are comfortable with us starting and ending each meeting with a prayer and are comfortable with people talking about race through the lens of Christianity, you are welcome to join us! You can click here to sign up. Choose Thursday evening if you would like to be in my group.  

COVID-19

Remember how last time I wrote I was in a 14 day quarantine? Well go figure, on day 14 I had a sore throat and a slight cough. After consulting with a medical doctor, they ordered a COVID-19 test. Y'all, they have to swap the back of my throat . . . THROUGH MY NOSE. Then they held the swab there for 10 seconds. It felt like they were scratching my brain stem. It was weird. My test came back negative so I was able to return to work. My county now has 3,831 cases (just shy of 1% of the population) with 37 deaths. My county has been ordered that classes cannot start in-person until September 8th. Many school districts chose to start online at the usual date (around August 19th) but Temple ISD has chosen to start all classes on September 8th. I think this is the better decision for our population since so many students do not have internet and/or a computer device at home. The parents were able to fill out a form last week to let the district know if their student would spend the first grading period on-campus or learning online at home. For the three days that form was open, I spent my entire time at work helping people access it. It's a little sad because the platform that the survey was on, Skyward, is the same platform that parents have to use to see grades, attendance, bus information, and to update their information (phone numbers, emergency contacts, etc). We had a lot of families whose students have been in the district for many years but they have never logged into Skyward. I'm hopeful that now that they know it exists and how to log-in that they will actually use it instead of relying on their student logging into the student profile which doesn't have the same access as the parent profile.

Work

To be perfectly honest, last week was insane. Monday was the first weekday in August which meant suddenly everyone wanted to enroll/withdraw. I spent the entire day on the phone with parents letting them know how to enroll or withdraw and reassuring them that there is still time since classes don't start until September 8th (THANK GOD). Tuesday was a normal day but Wednesday through Friday was crazy due to that form I told you about a moment ago. I had a panic attack at work on Thursday but luckily it was a pretty minor one and one of my dear friends stayed with me and was a calming presence until I was able to continue with my work. I'm nervous about this coming week because I think we are going to get many phone calls from parents who missed the deadline to fill out that form. Our campus plan is to call those parents to get the information but the parents aren't aware of that. I'm hoping the district will send out a message to let parents know what they should do if they didn't fill out the form. Plus, we have mandatory training so I won't have as much time to do my job. That's why I'm really grateful that the first day of school has been pushed back; it gives me more time to enroll students.

The Sunroom / Water Heater Closet

In the sunroom is our water heater closet. Since it used to be an "outside" closet and now it's enclosed, we decided it was a good time to clean it up. Here are some before photos. I didn't think to take them before we took out the table in there (unfinished wood with obvious rat chew marks) but it gives you an idea of what we started with.

We were about to paint when I thought to take photos. That's why the water heater and floor are covered.

No light fixture, just a bare bulb with a mismatched cord as a pull-chain. You can tell Matthew had to do a lot of work to take down the popcorn texture.

After adding texture and a fresh coat of paint, you can barely recognize it!

The floor you can just see in that second picture didn't last long. It was a one-part epoxy. We thought "Great! This will be easy to apply and it will be durable". NOPE. It was easy to apply and then, even after it was fully cured, it could be chipped up easily with a putty knife. Heck, painter's tape pulled up some of it. We then used a two-part epoxy that we bought on sale years ago and planned on using in the garage. We figured we would use it here since we had it and because we aren't completely sure that it would cover the entire garage. 

We also got a proper light fixture with pull-chain and recently Matthew installed some shelves. We haven't finished with them because we still have a few decisions to make about placement and such.

Here's hoping I never have to get the 50 lbs bag of dog food from that top shelf! Thank God for tall, strong spouses!

Let's finish off with some photos of the amazing counter Matthew custom built. He constantly blows me away with his craftsmanship and ingenuity. 💜

This is the "cave" that Loki was hiding under in my last post.

The view from the dining room and you can see that Matthew did a great job finishing the wall and making the "frame" for the cut out.

Due to the issues with the epoxy I mentioned in my last post, we decided to completely re-pour the epoxy again with the understanding that there will NOT be a third time. The first time we pulled the tape (it makes a dam to keep the epoxy from running over the edge too early) too early plus the primer peeled up. Yesterday we poured again and we pulled the tape too late which means we have obvious drips on the edges. We are discussing how we will fix it. The good news is that the top looks AMAZING and its going to be very durable. I'll show y'all what we have in my next post. 

Since school is starting up soon, I would like to leave with some prayers we said today during our church service (online). They really spoke to me.

A prayer for students

For the students who struggle with learning, give them patience, confidence, and grace. Help them to know the many ways that you've gifted them, even if reading, math, or memorizing don't come easy. For the student for whom learning does come easily, help them with the gift of humility. May they all know enough challenges to keep them sharp, strong, and grateful and enough successes to keep them engaged, confident, and proud of themselves. For the students who are lonely, hurt, unsafe, unwell, anxious or depressed. Breathe your peace and health into them; may they be supported by people who understand them and love them.

For the teachers

For the brave souls who wake each morning at the crack of dawn to educate other people's children and love them like their own. It's a tough job, God, please keep them from growing weary and cynical. Wrap them in your love, your peach, your wisdom, and your goodness. Help them to see the many ways that their gifts inspire learning, creativity, and compassion. And, please make sure they get enough good coffee, chocolate, and support from parents and administrators to keep 'em going.

For the parents

For the parents, that you would grant them wisdom as they lead their children in the way they should go, whether their children are home-schooled, learning online, or have gathered in a school. Give parents grace when they feel discouraged, and strength to do the work needed to support and raise their children well. May you grant them opportunities to connect with their children and be positive voices of influence.

For those who support learning

For the bus drivers, crossing guards, school safety officers, administrators, and aids. Bless those who keep our children safe. For cafeteria workers, janitors, nurses, and helpers. Bless those who help our children stay healthy. For librarians, music and art teachers, counselors, therapists, chaplains, volunteers, and administrators. Bless those who tend to our children's hearts and souls.

For those who grive

For those grieving the loss of children. This season can be so hard for them as first-day-of-school pictures populate their social media feed. Wrap them in your love and grace, Gracious God.

-Clare G. S.

Going Back to Work

I know parents of school-age children won't like to hear this but the 2020-2021 school year is just around the corner. Tomorrow is my first day back at work for the new school year. I'm excited to see my coworkers and a glance at my inbox makes me a little anxious. The first day of school is 5 weeks away. Let's do some updates, shall we?

Racism in the US
I'm disappointed that the push to make real changes to end systemic racism in the US has really slowed. The only changes that seem to happen are symbolic and don't really help. It's great that we are analyzing if confederate statues should be kept and if so where they should be (it makes me think of El Valle de los Caídos in Spain) but that won't change how Black people are treated. I'm proud that my church is starting a book study that I hope will help each of us evaluate how racist we are. Some background info: we are a predominantly white, older (median age above 50), conservative Episcopal church. I think many of us have racist thoughts/tendencies that we don't even recognize. I'm very hopeful that this book study will start some introspection that will lead us to be more welcoming to BIPOC (black, indigenous, and people of color) so that we can better represent the community where we are located. The world is a mess and this is one area where I feel like we need change to improve everyone's lives but it's so damn hard to get that change.

COVID-19
My county has 2,137 confirmed cases (.5% of the population) and 14 deaths. Yes, it has been 2 months since I last updated the numbers here on the blog but even with that in consideration our numbers are growing much more rapidly than before. It feels like everyone is now discussing how schools will open. The federal government says that schools must be open 5 days a week and it sounds like they are implying that it must be in-person. I say f*ck them; very little of our funding comes from them and they are NOT taking into consideration the safety of doing that. It is up to states and individual school districts to decide how to open. Today I watched a short video with Governor Cuomo's plan for opening schools in New York. If in an area the infection rate is under 5% (averaging the past 14 days) the schools will open. If at any time the infection rate is above 9% for any 7-day average, the schools in that area will close until the rate gets below 5% again. I really like that his plan is completely based on data. I'm not sure about the number choices but it looks like they came from the WHO. The TEA (Texas Education Agency) has said that schools must re-open and must give the choice to have on-campus instruction within a few weeks of school starting. Right now the infection rate for Texas seems to be over 15%. I think this is foolish. I think that we should look at it county by county or even smaller sub-populations. For example, my county is doing pretty well all things considered. We will probably be ok if we open our schools (knowing that some families will choose to have their children do remote learning) but I would not feel the same way if I lived in Dallas county (just shy of 35,000 confirmed cases and a population of more than 2.6 million which means over 1.3% of their population is confirmed positive).  I will be interested to see what the numbers look like in 4 weeks.

On a personal note, my husband and I may have been exposed to COVID-19. A friend of ours was taking care of his parent who has COVID-19. The friend did not tell that to us when we invited him over for dinner. A week after the dinner he informed us that he had tested positive for COVID-19. We went into self-quarantine and will stay under quarantine until it has been 14 days since our exposure. We have had no symptoms and the 14 days is nearly up. I contacted my doctor and they said that if we show no symptoms in 14 days then we are ok to go back to "normal". That means social distancing (6 ft or more between people), wearing a mask in public, and washing our hands frequently.

The Sunroom
We have gotten SO much done since I last posted about the sunroom! First of all, we sprayed texture on the ceiling. Here's a "before" picture:

No texture, lots of patches

Texture sprayed and my ingenious way of protecting the air vent while keeping the cool air coming

Dried texture (which, admittedly, you can't really see well in a photo)

We painted the ceiling to match the almond color of the rest of the room but I forgot to take photos of that. Honestly, it's just a ceiling. Next up my spouse starting building the counter. It's important for you to understand his DIY moto: If I'm going to take the time to build it, I'm going to over build it. This counter (with cabinet underneath) has no hollow points and is bolted into the wall for support which means it doesn't need additional legs for support.

The beginning of the base of the cabinet

Our dog, Loki, enjoyed sneaking into the dining room thanks to this whole in the wall.

Support in the wall so that the cabinet will "float"

See? No hollow places. The counter has LONG 2x6's in it.

Loki quickly found his own little "cave"

Then Matthew built the half-wall between the sunroom and the dining room so that the dogs would stop getting into the kitchen and stealing our sponges. Unfortunately I forgot to take a "finished" photo so you get an "in-progress" photo for now.

I think that's plenty for now. Next time I'll show you how much better the water heater closet looks and hopefully we'll be ready to show the nice finish on the top of the counter! We poured the epoxy for the counter top but ran into some issues. It may be finished in a week, it may be another month. Oh the adventures of DIY! 

Since today is an election day, I would like to end my post with the same prayers I had in my last post. Please go out and vote to make your voice heard!

A prayer for those who influence public opinion:

Almighty God, you proclaim your truth in every age by many voices: Direct, in our time, we pray, those who speak where many listen and write what many read; that they may do their part in making the heart of this people wise, its mind sound, and its will righteous; to the honor of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

A prayer for the oppressed:

Look with pity, O heavenly Father, upon the people in this land who live with injustice, terror, disease, and death as their constant companions. Have mercy upon us. Help us to eliminate our cruelty to these our neighbors. Strengthen those who spend their lives establishing equal protection of the law and equal opportunities for all. And grant that every one of us may enjoy a fair portion of the riches of this land; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

-Clare G. S.

Black Lives Matter

For the past week or so I've been trying to gather my thoughts. Once I heard of the murder of George Floyd I knew that I wanted to write a post here to speak out on what is happening in our nation but I didn't have the words yet. I think I've found them.

Every time I read of another black person unjustly killed, I get sick to my stomach. I pray for them, I wring my hands, I read about what happened, but I never know what to do. There was something about George Floyd's death that punched me in the gut. Maybe it's because of how painfully clear it is that the police were completely in the wrong. Maybe it's because the minutes leading to his death are out on the internet for anyone to watch. Maybe it's the fact that imagining being him, lying on the ground gasping for air and begging for help from the people whose job is to help but were killing him, is beyond imaginable. For whatever reason, this death seems to be the one that is spurring me to action.

First, take a moment and empathize. Not sympathize but empathize. Imagine that everyday since you were born you look around the world, you look at the news, and you hear about people who look like you being killed in ordinary, everyday situations. Not in war, not in fights, not when doing a dangerous job but when simply trying to live their life. Imagine being told subtly in underhand comments and sometimes blatantly that you are not worth as much as other humans. Imagine having people, your friends!, defend the little phrases that undermine your worth. "Well, but ALL lives matter". Yes, but whose lives are we losing right now? "Not all cops are bad" Of course not but we have too many that are bad and use their power for unjust actions. "It's awful that people are rioting and looting". Can you imagine protesting peacefully (taking a knee, marching, etc) over and over again but nothing changing? Can you imagine a whole group of people being pushed to the point that the only way anyone will listen is with violence? Can you imagine having to constantly defend your right to live in peace, without fear of being killed in your own home because the police broke down the door to the wrong address? Can you imagine wondering who will be next? Will it be your aunt? Will it be your friend? Will it be YOU? I can't imagine that.

Now, are you filled with righteous anger? Are you filled with a deep pain and sadness that God's children are hurting? (Christians: our religions tells us that we HAVE to help our siblings. Is your faith alive if you don't have the works?) Ok, let's use that to make a positive change. Here are some ideas on what we (privileged people/people in power) can do:

• Listen to the black voices in your community and in the world. Amplify them (My friend, Chloe, started me thinking about what I need to do)
• Speak out against racism and acknowledge the racism that you have. 
• Donate (money, time, or talent) to a group that is helping the black community. Here are just a few:
• Campaign Zero - researched-based policy solutions to end police brutality in the US
• Freedom Funds - Google "freedom funds" or "bail funds" and your city/area to find a group to donate money to help with legal costs and bail for those arrested for protesting.
• Black Lives Matter 

I suddenly realize that I don't know how to end this. Lately I've been turning to the Book of Common Prayer when I feel a bit lost so that's exactly what I just did. I would like to end with two prayers. The first is for those who influence public opinion; the second is for the oppressed.

Almighty God, you proclaim your truth in every age by many voices: Direct, in our time, we pray, those who speak where many listen and write what many read; that they may do their part in making the heart of this people wise, its mind sound, and its will righteous; to the honor of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Look with pity, O heavenly Father, upon the people in this land who live with injustice, terror, disease, and death as their constant companions. Have mercy upon us. Help us to eliminate our cruelty to these our neighbors. Strengthen those who spend their lives establishing equal protection of the law and equal opportunities for all. And grant that every one of us may enjoy a fair portion of the riches of this land; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

-Clare G. S.