FIFA World Cup - Applying to be a Volunteer

Well, it's been a few . . . years. Basic updates:

Pets - We currently have two dogs (they are mother & daughter), an aquarium of fish, but no birds. I little over a year ago we realized that we were not able to give my bird the care she deserved. We were very fortunate to have a friend who was able to take her in and give her great care. She's not the only bird in her new family which also makes me feel better about the situation.

Jobs - My spouse left teaching a little over a year ago and we bought a portion of an arcade bar. Life as a small business owner is always interesting! This past July I received a promotion to be the head of my department at the school district. So far, I'm really enjoying it.

Family - The big news here is that 1) my in-laws plan on moving to our area in the coming months and 2) my father is going through a difficult time health-wise. Things seem to be improving for my dad and I am incredibly grateful for that. Believe it or not, I'm actually looking forward to my in-laws being closer. They are truly lovely people so it will be nice to be able to drive to see them instead of flying 1,000 miles.

Why does the title of this entry mention the FIFA World Cup?

The men's World Cup is in the US this year and one of the host cities is Dallas. Sometime last summer (I don't remember when or how), I found out that FIFA was looking for volunteers to assist at the World Cup games. I really enjoy watching soccer but I know I could never afford tickets to a World Cup game. I figure that volunteering would be a fun way to be part of the games without being stupidly expensive. Plus, I've loved my time working with Bell County Comic Con. I figure if I enjoy working at an event with 40,000 visitors, I'll probably enjoy working for an event that's even bigger.

Back in August, I filled-out the online application to volunteer. It said I would be emailed with updates in the coming months. I was really worried I would miss that email so I set a reminder on my calendar to check my personal email at least twice a week for anything from FIFA. 

In mid-December, I received an email from FIFA inviting me to a volunteer tryout! I scheduled my tryout for mid-January. 

January 17, I went to Dallas for the tryout. The tryout was a one-on-one interview, a chance to find out more about the volunteer experience, and a chance to learn a bit of the history of the World Cup. While there, they explained that they had around 30,000 volunteer applications and only 15,000 were invited for a tryout. After the tryout, only 6,100 people will be chosen as volunteers. Whether I make it further or not, I'm really proud to be in the top 50% of applicants! I feel like my interview went really well so now I'm crossing my fingers that I get chosen.

The volunteer tryouts had A LOT of great places for photo ops

Volunteering for the FIFA World Cup is a once in a lifetime experience so I thought it would be best to record my experience here. It'll be really cool to look back on this in the years to come. In the next few weeks I should be adding a new blog post telling y'all if I was chosen as a volunteer or not. Send all the good vibes my way!

-Clare G. S.

A Little Update and a Little Rock & Roll

It's about time for an update, isn't it?

Our dog, Freyja - Just a day or two after my last post Freyja figured out how to take off her bandage. When I say bandage, I mean bandage or cloth boot. Even while wearing a collar AND a cage muzzle, she consistently took them off. My spouse and I had a long chat about where to go from there. We decided that all we could do was keep the sunroom really clean (that's where the dogs spend most of their time) and wipe down Freyja's paw with iodine two or three times a day. So, everyday at lunch I was returning home, kicking out the dogs for a potty break, and spending that time to vacuum and mop the sunroom. I then brought the dogs in, wolfed down lunch, and returned to work. It was tiring but worth it. I checked Freyja's paw today and I'm amazed at how well it has healed. I literally did a double take where I checked her other paw because I thought surely I was looking at the wrong paw. There was no way her pad could be so well healed but it is! I'm so happy that we have made it out of the woods and that we don't have to fret about infection. The next step is to fix the hole in the fence so that the dogs can be outside unsupervised again.

COVID - f*ck COVID. I'm tired of it. Please, friends, if you are eligible to get the vaccine and have not done so already, please seriously consider it. I would be happy to talk to you about it if you have concerns that you want to voice to someone who won't jump down your throat.

Work - Work is going well for both me and my spouse, Matthew. There have been some rough days but we are getting into the groove of it. I've been surprised with how much of my job has been tech support for our Student Management System, Skyward. From what I understand, my department over the years has slowly absorbed more and more of the Skyward help: setting up courses, running report cards, new student enrollment, running reports, and trouble shooting issues. None of this really ought to be our department since our job is to handle the data that goes to the state and insure that is accurate. It sounds like our district will be creating a position to be basically a Skyward specialist. I'm considering applying for this position since a lot of it would be what I'm doing now and I enjoy what I do right now. We'll see how that goes.

Family - My brother recently got engaged and I'm trying to convince him that a low-stress way to get married is for me to be the officiant. I'll let you know if I'm able to convince him. I got to hang out with my sister, P, and her family last weekend and it was so awesome to see them. She has two daughters whom I adore. I haven't seen the rest of my siblings in quite a while (again, COVID sucks) but *knocks on wood* it looks like I should be seeing a few of them in October.

Church - I think I might have myself overbooked when it comes to church. I'm in the choir, on the vestry (committee that takes care of finances and whatnot), on the stewardship committee (fundraising to create our budget for the next year), "leading" a small group (more like herding cats but I love them), and I'll be volunteering at our first ever pumpkin patch. I think for 2022 I'm going to take a small step back so that I don't burn out.

Miscellaneous - Last weekend Matthew and I saw my favorite band, the Old 97's, in concert in Austin. I was a little hesitant to go but the venue announced that they would be checking vaccination cards (or proof of recent negative COVID test) at the door and would require masks. The venue was smaller (The 3Ten for those familiar with the Austin live music scene) so that combined with the safety precautions convinced me to go. I'm so glad we did. It was AMAZING to hear them live again. My sister asked me how many times I've seen them live and I realized that it has to be at least five times. I think that's more than any other band combined for me. If you don't know who the hell I'm talking about, I suggest looking up the following songs: "Won't Be Home", "Good with God", "Question" (by their lead singer, Rhett Miller), "Dance with Me". and "Color of a Lonely Heart is Blue". 

I can't think of anything else I ought to report so I'll leave you with a few photos from the concert. It was a triumph of rock.

The Old 97's from left to right: Ken Bethea, Rhett Miller, Philip Peeples, and Murray Hammond.

Ken absolutely rocking it. He always looks so serious at shows!

Murray Hammond <3

Rhett, making everyone swoon

No joke, this is the best photo I got of Philip

-Clare G. S.

Thoughts on Smoking

If you didn't know me when I was 18-21 years old, I smoked cigarettes during that time. My stress over the past three weeks has been near my breaking point. I take solace in a wonderful husband, nearly daily Dr Peppers, and an occasional adult beverage. However, I find myself day dreaming about smoking again. It may sound crazy but I don't think it was the nicotine that I craved. I think it was Cormac McCarthy who said something about how appropriate it was for man to smoke; there is something about holding fire in your hand that feeds the soul. That's what I miss: feeling close to danger but also completely in control of it. I miss the way I would breathe in, pause for a moment, and then breathe out sometimes blowing smoke rings. I miss the way that smoking was really a meditative practice for me. For a few minutes I had something to do with my hands instead of my usual anxious ticks (which always felt like everyone noticed although I doubt anyone did). I had a reason to breathe slowly instead of hyperventilating because I was convinced that whatever terrible scenario my mind had created was coming true.

I've tried other exercises to calm my mind with various levels of success. Deep breaths are definitely key and the few times that I've meditated I've really enjoyed it. To some level writing in this blog helps me with my anxiety as well. I still come home in tears more often than I'd like because I still haven't figured out good ways to deal with stress & anxiety in the moment. I still tend to shove it to the side until I can get home and release my emotions. Looking back, I'm definitely doing better than I was a decade ago. I'm not smoking, I don't drink to excess, and it's been years since I've had to run out of a room in public because I felt a panic attack coming on. It can be hard to focus on the positive when it feels like I'm drowning.

Here's the photographic proof that I smoked . . . and that I took ridiculous photos

Now this all begs the question: why the hell am I so anxious and stressed right now? Well, Bell County Comic Con was a great but tiring weekend. I got much closer with a few of my friends (Ariel, Pedro, and Chris) who I had the privilege of working closely with the entire weekend. However, it seems like everything else that I reported on in my last post has gotten more stressful and had given me more anxiety. 

At work, I feel like a tidal wave is coming in. The first day of school is Tuesday and there is so much to do before then. I am blessed to work really well with my two teammates. That doesn't diminish the fact that for three people we have a lot on our plates. From what I understand, this has been the most hectic start of the year either of them can remember simply because we have so many new staff members and so many staff members who changed position. We are constantly scrambling to train people and help them out. Don't get me wrong! I really do love helping people but it's hard to help when there are so many people who need my assistance. I am hopeful that once the school year has begun and people find their groove that we too will be able to get into more of a routine.

Our dog, Freyja, is not as healed as we had hoped. This coming Monday will mark four weeks since her toe injury. The vet saw her two days ago and said that there is no sign of infection but she really isn't healing much. Instead of wrapping her paw completely (it looks similar to a cast a person might wear for a broken bone) we are going to try giving the paw some time in the open air and then just put a sterile pad in a reusable bootie. We hope that the extra air flow will help promote the skin to grow. This is perfect timing because this morning we woke up and found that Freyja learned how to tear apart her usual bandage. Yes, she was wearing the cone of shame but that didn't stop her! We are crossing all our fingers and toes that she doesn't figure out how to pull off the bootie while wearing the cone. I'm very anxious about this situation because if the toe doesn't heal it will have to be amputated. It's one of her weight-bearing toes so the vet is leaving amputation as a last option.

Freyja at the vet 2 weeks ago

Finally, COVID-19 is a nightmare that won't go away. I'm fully vaccinated and so is my spouse but I'm afraid for so many people. I have a friend from church whose daughter is going through chemotherapy right now. Every time someone says that they won't get the vaccine, I think of her. I can feel my "resting-anxiety" ramping up to what it was in April 2020. 

For my praying friends out there, please pray for my little family. I feel like I'm losing my mind most days and I know that the stress of the new school year plus a stressed-out wife is wearing on my husband. He bears it well and I'm incredibly grateful for him and his strength but I also wish he didn't have to be this tough.

To all my friends and family, I love you more than you know and I hope that you are finding joy in this crazy life. I'm going to be ok and the reason I know that is because of the wonderful people in my life who remind me how loved I am.

-Clare G. S.

New Job

I'm going to try to make this short but anyone who reads this knows I'm bad at editing down my writing.

Since Spring Break:

• I applied to a new job, interviewed, was offered the position, and I accepted it! I'm now a PEIMS specialist for my school district. I handle the data that we collect and send to TEA (Texas Education Agency)
• In my new job I work nearly year-round. It's not so bad because I still have Thanksgiving break, winter break, spring break, and 2 weeks of my choosing in the summer (or any other time, really).
• The school year ended. We rejoiced that our district announced no more remote learning for the next school year. Seriously, remote learning was awful for students, families, teachers, and staff. 
• My spouse and I are gearing up for our local nerdy convention, Bell County Comic Con. We are both on staff but I've asked to have a smaller part this year since I'm adjusting to a new full-time job. Even though I'm fully vaccinated I will be wearing a mask the entire weekend.
• An old friend contacted me out of the blue earlier this week. The nostalgia is real, y'all.
• On that note, am I the only person who is in complete denial that friends "move on"? I still live in a fairy-tale land where I'm "friends forever" with everyone I've ever called a friend. Downside: I get so sad when I think about how long it's been since I've talked to my old friends. So, if you're reading this and we haven't talked in ages, feel free to message me. I'm still awkward yet friendly.
• Our scrappy dog got injured but is doing ok. Long story short, she dug a small hole under the fence and stuck her paw under it. I don't know what exactly happened but later my husband saw she was injured. She had to have surgery and is now stuck in the cone of shame for 3 weeks. She also has to stay inside (which she does not appreciate) since she can't be trusted on her own outside. If you're the praying type, please pray for her. I love that damn stubborn dog.
• Some family stuff happened in spring that is not my story to tell. I'm writing it here so if I look back and think "gee, when did that happen?" I can pinpoint it. Everyone is doing ok and that's what's important now.

That's all I've got for now, kiddos. Please enjoy this ridiculous photo of me taken last week: 

Yours truly in a tiny sombrero

-Clare G. S.