Weddings and Workouts

I once again found myself at the high school a couple of weeks ago and a friend mentioned that I haven't written here in a while. Whoops! Here's what's happening in my world.

Therapy - I haven't been back to see Dr. S since my last post because I haven't felt the need. I have good days and bad days like anyone else but I seem to be handling the bad days fairly well for the most part. I still need to build a meditation habit.

Working out - Speaking of building good habits, I've started working out regularly. The last week or two of January I started either an ab workout (about 10 minutes) or walking one mile each morning. Now I sometimes do both or walk two miles. I've tried to add in some jogging but my calves start to ache very quickly. I'm keep meaning to look into what the cause could be. I think it's the new sneakers I bought plus the constant inclines/declines in my neighborhood. Also, each Tuesday there is a group at my work that does a 30-45 minute cardio workout; usually a dance-based exercise. I do my best to join them. I'm really happy to say that after nearly three months I can see real progress!

• I can now walk up the stairs at work and not get winded.
• When I jog during my walks I now have to stop because my calves ache, not because I am out of breath.
• Side note: I was trying to breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth. I mentioned to my sister, J, that I was running out of breath. She suggested trying to breathe through my mouth the entire time if that felt more natural. That solved the problem!
• My spouse reports that I'm generally in a better mood.

I'm really trying not to focus on things like my weight and waist size but it's hard. Everywhere I look everyone is talking about losing weight and dropping inches from your waist. I know the victories I listed above are much more important since my goal is to feel better and to live a long, happy life. However, that doesn't keep diet culture from attacking. I'm glad that this year my school district is doing a step-challenge instead of a weight-loss challenge. Especially for those of us with desk jobs, it's important to keep moving and keep your body active. Also, it's nice to have a good excuse to take a short walk around the building outside and get some sunlight. I truly believe it helps me stay in a more positive mood. If I spend the entire day at my desk and only leave it for bathroom breaks, I get grumpy.

Work - Not much to report here. I still miss my friends at the high school but it's getting easier to visit the campus without being an emotional wreck afterward. We did have one adventure recently. Around 1:30pm on Thursday the internet for the entire district cut out. By Friday morning, it was restored to all campuses but not central office where I work. We finally got internet back around 3pm on Friday. I'm probably going to go in early on Monday to try to catch up on all the things I couldn't get done earlier. On the bright side, my work desk is clean and very organized!

Family - On April 2nd I successfully married my brother to his wife! My goal was to avoid crying during the ceremony since I was the officiant. I did it! Every time I felt tears coming on, I told myself, "This is not my brother. I am just in a play and I'm playing the part of the officiant at a wedding." That helped me get back to a non-weepy mindset and ensured I was speaking loudly, clearly, and at a good pace. There was a funny moment when I had to hold back laughter because out of the corner of my eye I could see their dog rolling on his back. 

Me as the officiant! I guess that blouse is now my officiant blouse.

Church - I'm so excited because our church has a new rector! We've been searching for one since about 2019 so we are all really happy to have a permanent rector again. Don't get me wrong, our interim rector was great but our congregation was ready for someone who will be here long-term. It was really interesting to be part of this process since I'm accustomed to the Roman Catholic church where priests are assigned to a parish. I learned a lot about how the Episcopal Church runs and the more I learn, the more I like it.

Another thing I've been learning about is the process for discerning the priesthood in the church. My friend, B, is currently discerning if she is called to be a priest or deacon. I am very honored to be part of the group that is guiding her during this process. We meet every 2-3 weeks for around 6 sessions. I think it's a really great process because it gives the seeker (the person who is seeking what God is calling them to do) opportunities to pray and reflect about why they feel called to this. It's obvious that the church has put a lot of thought into this process.

COVID-19 - A couple of weeks ago Austin, Tx lifted their mask mandate for government buildings. To me, that felt like the end of the pandemic. The only place where I still wear a mask is in medical buildings as they still require them. It's so odd to look back at the transitions: getting accustomed to wearing a mask in public, trying not to panic when people in crowded places refused to wear a mask, and now back to rarely seeing people wearing a mask. I have lots of thoughts on how the world should be based on what we learned during the pandemic but this post is already long enough.

Overall, things are going well in my life. I hope I didn't just jinx myself. ;)

-Clare G. S.

A Little Update and a Little Rock & Roll

It's about time for an update, isn't it?

Our dog, Freyja - Just a day or two after my last post Freyja figured out how to take off her bandage. When I say bandage, I mean bandage or cloth boot. Even while wearing a collar AND a cage muzzle, she consistently took them off. My spouse and I had a long chat about where to go from there. We decided that all we could do was keep the sunroom really clean (that's where the dogs spend most of their time) and wipe down Freyja's paw with iodine two or three times a day. So, everyday at lunch I was returning home, kicking out the dogs for a potty break, and spending that time to vacuum and mop the sunroom. I then brought the dogs in, wolfed down lunch, and returned to work. It was tiring but worth it. I checked Freyja's paw today and I'm amazed at how well it has healed. I literally did a double take where I checked her other paw because I thought surely I was looking at the wrong paw. There was no way her pad could be so well healed but it is! I'm so happy that we have made it out of the woods and that we don't have to fret about infection. The next step is to fix the hole in the fence so that the dogs can be outside unsupervised again.

COVID - f*ck COVID. I'm tired of it. Please, friends, if you are eligible to get the vaccine and have not done so already, please seriously consider it. I would be happy to talk to you about it if you have concerns that you want to voice to someone who won't jump down your throat.

Work - Work is going well for both me and my spouse, Matthew. There have been some rough days but we are getting into the groove of it. I've been surprised with how much of my job has been tech support for our Student Management System, Skyward. From what I understand, my department over the years has slowly absorbed more and more of the Skyward help: setting up courses, running report cards, new student enrollment, running reports, and trouble shooting issues. None of this really ought to be our department since our job is to handle the data that goes to the state and insure that is accurate. It sounds like our district will be creating a position to be basically a Skyward specialist. I'm considering applying for this position since a lot of it would be what I'm doing now and I enjoy what I do right now. We'll see how that goes.

Family - My brother recently got engaged and I'm trying to convince him that a low-stress way to get married is for me to be the officiant. I'll let you know if I'm able to convince him. I got to hang out with my sister, P, and her family last weekend and it was so awesome to see them. She has two daughters whom I adore. I haven't seen the rest of my siblings in quite a while (again, COVID sucks) but *knocks on wood* it looks like I should be seeing a few of them in October.

Church - I think I might have myself overbooked when it comes to church. I'm in the choir, on the vestry (committee that takes care of finances and whatnot), on the stewardship committee (fundraising to create our budget for the next year), "leading" a small group (more like herding cats but I love them), and I'll be volunteering at our first ever pumpkin patch. I think for 2022 I'm going to take a small step back so that I don't burn out.

Miscellaneous - Last weekend Matthew and I saw my favorite band, the Old 97's, in concert in Austin. I was a little hesitant to go but the venue announced that they would be checking vaccination cards (or proof of recent negative COVID test) at the door and would require masks. The venue was smaller (The 3Ten for those familiar with the Austin live music scene) so that combined with the safety precautions convinced me to go. I'm so glad we did. It was AMAZING to hear them live again. My sister asked me how many times I've seen them live and I realized that it has to be at least five times. I think that's more than any other band combined for me. If you don't know who the hell I'm talking about, I suggest looking up the following songs: "Won't Be Home", "Good with God", "Question" (by their lead singer, Rhett Miller), "Dance with Me". and "Color of a Lonely Heart is Blue". 

I can't think of anything else I ought to report so I'll leave you with a few photos from the concert. It was a triumph of rock.

The Old 97's from left to right: Ken Bethea, Rhett Miller, Philip Peeples, and Murray Hammond.

Ken absolutely rocking it. He always looks so serious at shows!

Murray Hammond <3

Rhett, making everyone swoon

No joke, this is the best photo I got of Philip

-Clare G. S.

Thoughts on Smoking

If you didn't know me when I was 18-21 years old, I smoked cigarettes during that time. My stress over the past three weeks has been near my breaking point. I take solace in a wonderful husband, nearly daily Dr Peppers, and an occasional adult beverage. However, I find myself day dreaming about smoking again. It may sound crazy but I don't think it was the nicotine that I craved. I think it was Cormac McCarthy who said something about how appropriate it was for man to smoke; there is something about holding fire in your hand that feeds the soul. That's what I miss: feeling close to danger but also completely in control of it. I miss the way I would breathe in, pause for a moment, and then breathe out sometimes blowing smoke rings. I miss the way that smoking was really a meditative practice for me. For a few minutes I had something to do with my hands instead of my usual anxious ticks (which always felt like everyone noticed although I doubt anyone did). I had a reason to breathe slowly instead of hyperventilating because I was convinced that whatever terrible scenario my mind had created was coming true.

I've tried other exercises to calm my mind with various levels of success. Deep breaths are definitely key and the few times that I've meditated I've really enjoyed it. To some level writing in this blog helps me with my anxiety as well. I still come home in tears more often than I'd like because I still haven't figured out good ways to deal with stress & anxiety in the moment. I still tend to shove it to the side until I can get home and release my emotions. Looking back, I'm definitely doing better than I was a decade ago. I'm not smoking, I don't drink to excess, and it's been years since I've had to run out of a room in public because I felt a panic attack coming on. It can be hard to focus on the positive when it feels like I'm drowning.

Here's the photographic proof that I smoked . . . and that I took ridiculous photos

Now this all begs the question: why the hell am I so anxious and stressed right now? Well, Bell County Comic Con was a great but tiring weekend. I got much closer with a few of my friends (Ariel, Pedro, and Chris) who I had the privilege of working closely with the entire weekend. However, it seems like everything else that I reported on in my last post has gotten more stressful and had given me more anxiety. 

At work, I feel like a tidal wave is coming in. The first day of school is Tuesday and there is so much to do before then. I am blessed to work really well with my two teammates. That doesn't diminish the fact that for three people we have a lot on our plates. From what I understand, this has been the most hectic start of the year either of them can remember simply because we have so many new staff members and so many staff members who changed position. We are constantly scrambling to train people and help them out. Don't get me wrong! I really do love helping people but it's hard to help when there are so many people who need my assistance. I am hopeful that once the school year has begun and people find their groove that we too will be able to get into more of a routine.

Our dog, Freyja, is not as healed as we had hoped. This coming Monday will mark four weeks since her toe injury. The vet saw her two days ago and said that there is no sign of infection but she really isn't healing much. Instead of wrapping her paw completely (it looks similar to a cast a person might wear for a broken bone) we are going to try giving the paw some time in the open air and then just put a sterile pad in a reusable bootie. We hope that the extra air flow will help promote the skin to grow. This is perfect timing because this morning we woke up and found that Freyja learned how to tear apart her usual bandage. Yes, she was wearing the cone of shame but that didn't stop her! We are crossing all our fingers and toes that she doesn't figure out how to pull off the bootie while wearing the cone. I'm very anxious about this situation because if the toe doesn't heal it will have to be amputated. It's one of her weight-bearing toes so the vet is leaving amputation as a last option.

Freyja at the vet 2 weeks ago

Finally, COVID-19 is a nightmare that won't go away. I'm fully vaccinated and so is my spouse but I'm afraid for so many people. I have a friend from church whose daughter is going through chemotherapy right now. Every time someone says that they won't get the vaccine, I think of her. I can feel my "resting-anxiety" ramping up to what it was in April 2020. 

For my praying friends out there, please pray for my little family. I feel like I'm losing my mind most days and I know that the stress of the new school year plus a stressed-out wife is wearing on my husband. He bears it well and I'm incredibly grateful for him and his strength but I also wish he didn't have to be this tough.

To all my friends and family, I love you more than you know and I hope that you are finding joy in this crazy life. I'm going to be ok and the reason I know that is because of the wonderful people in my life who remind me how loved I am.

-Clare G. S.

Snovid 2021

Another month (plus) has come and gone without me writing. I think I have a good reason why I got a little distracted. In February we had an event with many nicknames. My favorite is "Snovid" although "snow-pocalypse" ain't too bad. If you live in Texas you know what I'm talking about and can skip this entry. I'm writing this for posterity's sake and so that I can look back and realize that I'm tougher than I know. Let's go about this logically and look at things day-by-day.

Wednesday, February 10th - I heard that we had a major winter storm coming in (Uri was its name) so I went to the grocery store. I like to be prepared and I figured it sounded like the roads might be icy for a few days and I didn't want to run out of milk, mac & cheese, etc. I also bought a a lot of granola bars because I figured if worse comes to worse and we lose power for a day, we can eat granola bars. They aren't the best meals but we wouldn't be hungry. 

Thursday, February 11th - A few of our neighboring school districts had a delayed start or didn't even have school. When I woke up I thought they were silly because it was just really cold, no precipitation at all. By 10am I realized how wrong I had been. Our district announced that we would close at 12:30 because the precipitation had begun and the temperature outside was literally freezing. I ended up spending a big chunk of my time at work helping get students out of class because their parents were coming to pick them up early. When my spouse and I got to our car, it was frozen shut. No joke, all the doors were frozen shut. My spouse was smart and grabbed a hammer and a large eraser (for his white board) from his classroom. He placed the fuzzy part of the eraser along the edge of the car door and then tapped it with the hammer. He repeated this until enough of the ice had broken so that we could open the doors. We then blasted the defroster and I chiseled at the ice on the windshield with our ice scraper until it was safe to go home. We purposefully took the least travelled way home in the hopes that if we spun out we wouldn't hit anyone else. We made it home safely. 

Friday, February 12th - It was a cold, icy day. School was canceled. We stayed home, read, and watched tv. Not a bad day. Our district announced that the county had 300 COVID vaccinations that they were giving to them because they were going to go bad if they weren't used this weekend. I signed up myself and my spouse, Matthew, to receive it.

Saturday, February 13th - Matthew and I realize that we kept losing power overnight because our Alexa (the smart speaker) kept on making noise as it had to reconnect to the internet. In our backyard we find the reason. We have a big oak tree very close to our house and our electric line runs from the pole, under the oak tree, to the house. The tree was so weighed down with ice that its branches were resting on the power line to the point that it was taut. The forecast called for more precipitation and we weren't going to be above freezing for days so we knew that if we wanted to keep power we would need to act soon. Knowing that it might damage or even kill the tree, we cut the branches. They were now at least 3 feet off of the power line. We then spent some time enjoying the snow that had fallen overnight. I have never seen snow so deep in Texas! We had at least 4 inches in the road! It was cool to watch the snow swirl as it was blown across the top of the ground. Our big accomplishment was making it downtown to get our COVID vaccine. To this day I am so incredibly thankful for all of the volunteer nurses and other staff who came in during freezing weather, on their day off, to give us the vaccine.

Sunday, February 14th - Monday, February 15th - My "Oh, it's nice to be cuddled up at home" has definitely changed to "Oh, goodness. Are we going to be ok?" I'm constantly checking in with friends to make sure everyone is safe. Many have lost power and some have lost water as well. We were supposed to have rolling blackouts but that's definitely not happening. My anxiety starts to climb especially because the forecast says Wednesday night we will have more precipitation and it won't get above freezing until Thursday at the earliest. My spouse and I have not lost power nor water. Our macaws are in our sunroom which has a dog door. This means that it isn't keeping heat as well as the rest of the house is. We forced the dogs inside at night (they were LOVING the frigid temperatures) and cover the dog door. We also placed our folding room dividers between the bird cages and the windows in the hopes that it will give just a little more insulation for them. I'm constantly praying "Thank you God, for keeping us safe. Please help those who have lost power or water. Please keep everyone safe." 

Our house looks pretty darn cute

Look how deep that snow is!

Tuesday, February 16th - I offer up my home to some friends who don't have power. I tell them that if they can get to us safely they are welcome to warm up and eat some hot food. My best friend texts me and by noon we have decided that it's best for her family (herself, her wife, their daughter, and their two cats) to come over and stay with us. They have no power and there was no telling when it would come back. We had room so it just seemed logical. Bonus, they are from Chicago so the slushy/icy roads aren't nearly as terrifying for them as they are for me. They safely arrive a while later and we get settled in. They were kind enough to stop by the grocery store so we are definitely set for the long haul. 

Wednesday, February 17th - We are doing alright talking, reading, watching movies, and playing board games. I was especially proud of their 9 year old daughter who was taking this all in stride. Internally I am completely freaking out about the additional storm that is about to hit us. During the night I could not sleep. I woke up at every little sound which is very odd for me. I'm nearly in tears because I'm convinced that each sound means we have lost power and that my birds are going to get too cold and die. At the same time I know there is nothing more to do but wait until the morning. Eventually I start signing "Silent Night" over and over in my head because it seems to calm me a little. I slept fitfully.

Thursday, February 18th - We awoke to find out that the storm that was predicted didn't really happen. I literally spend the rest of the day thinking/praying, "Dear God, thank you. Thank you for keeping us safe. Please continue to keep everyone safe." My bestie's wife attempted to go to work because she is the regional manager. They got their SUV out of our driveway and found out that they didn't really have any control over the car so they pushed it back into the driveway. We again spend the day reading, playing board games, chatting, etc.

Friday, February 19th - My bestie's wife was able to get to work around noon. My anxiety was finally back to normal levels. I realized how close I was to completely losing my marbles on Wednesday night. I was really thankful I didn't. Not much to report this day. Since I felt like things were getting better (just above freezing this day!) I finally run a load of laundry.

Saturday, February 20th - Another chill day. My bestie and her wife went back to their home to check damage. They came back and reported that they still didn't have electricity but it looked like there was no major damage from what they can see. They kept in touch with their neighbor who was still at her house to find out when electricity had been restored. 

Sunday, February 21st - Electricity was back at my bestie's house so they returned home. I now felt comfortable using electricity like a would during a normal day. It was good to be on the other side of all of this.

During the entire storm my family used Marco Polo to send short video updates to each other. Two of my siblings lost power for a while. My brother and I had power the entire time. I'm very happy to report that none of us had any catastrophic damage to our homes. What's odd is that Mardi Gras and Ash Wednesday somehow came and went during the storm. I barely noted it, honestly. My brain was dealing with too much to think about religious observations.

I'm not going to comment on the reasons why this all happened (I mean in the sense of why the eff Texas lost power) but I will find it interesting to come back and read this entry in a few years. Did anything change? Did power companies winterize their equipment? Do we go through this again? 

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This week is interesting at work not only because it's the week before Spring Break but because we have three people in our front office out. Basically there are nine of us in the front office. I'm not including the AP secretaries because they are not literally in the front of the building, they are throughout the building. When more than one person is out at a time, we can "feel" it because we have to change up who is covering reception and the attendance window (where parents pick up their kids for doctor's appointments and such). With three people out possibly all week, it's been a bit chaotic. For the record, they all really need to be out. One had a death in the family and two are out for medical reasons. I don't want anyone to think my co-workers decided the start their vacation early! I just keep praying that we keep up with things. It's been ok so far. We just need to make it a few more days.

Well, like usual I have made this much longer than I meant to. *shrug* I mostly keep this blog for myself so I don't know why I feel bad when my posts are lengthy. I'm sure there's some deep psychological reason there that points to me needing therapy but we are going to ignore it for now. ;) If you're reading this, I hope you are doing well and that you too survived Uri without too much damage!

This is what our dog, Freyja, wanted to do all day every day.

Loki wasn't as big of a fan but he does whatever Freyja does.

 

-Clare G. S.

Me & Corona

Well guys and gals, it finally happened. I got sick and tested positive for COVID-19. The good news is that I'm definitely on the mend. Here's the timeline:

• Saturday, November 21 - in the evening I have a slight cough and think nothing of it. I go to bed really late and assume that's why I'm feeling a little off.
• Sunday, November 22 - I wake up multiple times during the night with an obvious fever and chills. My dreams are really weird. During the day, I feel awful. I have a low-grade fever of 100.4F, cough, headache, nausea, and I get out of breath quickly.
• Monday, November 23 - Wednesday, December 2 - Monday morning I feel just fine but by Monday afternoon I again don't feel well. For the rest of the time I'm sick, I never get a fever again. I mostly have a cough, headache, nausea, and I get out of breath very quickly. There are a few days that I'm congested. I get a COVID test on Friday, November 27th (the day after Thanksgiving). It's slow progress but by December 3rd I only have a minor cough.

Overall, this sickness has left me very thankful. I was able to simply stay home and take care of myself with help from my spouse. I have one friend who spent a month in the hospital due to COVID-19 and I have a friend who is currently hospitalized due to the combination of COVID-19 and a stroke. Even though my symptoms where mild, this was definitely more difficult on my body than a cold or flu. During the worst of it, if I walked to the mailbox and back I would then have to sit for 5-10 minutes simply to catch my breath. I never lost my sense of smell or taste but the constant nausea made it difficult for me to do anything but sleep.

My spouse had about two days where he had a headache and minor cough. He was never tested but we are assuming he got it since he was around me for days on end while I was contagious. Our employer's rule is that a person who tests positive for COVID-19 cannot return to work until 10 calendar days after the test. Anyone living with that person cannot return to work until 14 calendar days after the person tested positive. This means that I get to return to work tomorrow but Matthew will not return until next Monday. It's kind of odd that the person who definitely had the Coronavirus can return before the other one but I understand that it's to give the asymptomatic person time to show symptoms if they catch it.

Looking back, I'm really not sure how I caught it. I am very good about wearing my mask when I'm not at home with the exception of when I'm alone in my office. However, an article I read pointed out that all the air in an office is shared so it's a bit silly to take off your mask when you are in your own office. If the virus is in the air, it will circulate to your office. My county has "uncontrolled community spread" so I suppose I should not be so surprised that I don't know how I got it.

Another interesting thing about this was the contact tracing. I received a call on December 3rd from a person from Texas Health & Human Services. I spent about 20 minutes with the person discussing where I was the two days before I showed symptoms, what my symptoms were, etc. Since I began quarantine the moment I had symptoms, we had no need to discuss where I had been since symptoms began. Which brings me to a request to all of you: if you have any symptoms that could be COVID-19, please do everyone a favor and stay home. If I had ignored my symptoms I would have gone to the grocery store that first or second day. Even though I would have been masked, I would have been putting some of the virus into the air each time I coughed which would have put so many people at risk of catching it from me (especially since it seems many people don't understand that masks are supposed to cover the nose). Also, please wear your freaking mask over your mouth and nose whenever you are in public. It's such a simple way to minimize transmission. I don't understand why some people complain about it. 

I have one last comment before I move on. To any of my friends who I did not tell that I had COVID-19: I apologize if you are hurt or confused that I didn't tell you. I didn't want people to worry about me and I didn't want anyone to panic. I also didn't want anyone to think I was being overly dramatic. I don't know why that was a worry of mine but it was.

I hope that everyone out there is staying safe! It looks like we might have a vaccine soon. Until then, chins up and let's keep moving forward!

-Clare G. S.

Your prize for making it through this blog post is a photo of the jigsaw puzzle I did (with some help from my spouse) while sick:

Pretty Countertop & Some Rambling

Well, the school year started which is why I haven't updated this in two months. 😳 Sorry about that! *knocks on wood* I have gotten into a good pace at work so I no longer feel like I need to just fall into bed once I get home. Plus, today is a 3-day weekend (Let's call it Indigenous Peoples' Day, shall we?) so I was able to get a lot done around the house and now here I am, just past 8pm, trying to stay awake because I'm a bird and my brain thinks, "Oh, it's dark? It's time to go to sleep!"

The Sunroom

It's time for you to see the final counter top! It's so pretty!

It's just so darn pretty!

We also placed the aquarium. Hopefully we will get an even bigger aquarium some day.

I don't have a photo yet of the painted cabinet but it looks great, too!

COVID-19

My county now has 5,801 cases with 93 deaths. Looking back at my last post, the fatality rate has gone from ~1% to ~1.6%. That does concern me. At the same time, I'm pleasantly surprised that the case number didn't skyrocket when schools opened. I can't speak for other districts but I think mine has a good set of guidelines to encourage everyone wears masks, we stay socially distant when possible, and we minimize visitors to the campus. As a nation, we are at 7.83 million cases with 215 thousand being fatal. The worldwide numbers show a similar ratio: 37.7 million cases, 1.08 million fatal. I don't want to spend too much time on this. I mention it because I think these data will be interesting to look back upon in the future.

Work

I have to start this section by saying that teachers are doing an amazing job right now. Many teachers have commented to me, "You got out at the right time" and I have to agree. I don't know how they are not completely losing their shit daily. I have been working longer hours (read: over 40 per week) but it's nothing compared to what the teachers are doing. My spouse is spending 45-50 hours at work and then comes home and spends another 2-3 hours each weekday plus I would estimate at least 10 hours on the weekend. After all of this, he is still only just keeping up. None of this time is going toward working ahead much at all. I'm praying that as we (everyone who works in our district and campus) keep moving through this school year we will figure out what works and what doesn't work so that hopefully teachers will be back to a manageable amount of work each week. 

Here's my idea (which I'm sure many of you have already heard because I'm telling anyone who's willing to listen!): every Friday should be a half-day for students who are on campus. The second half of the day they would be required to work remotely. The rest of the day teachers should be given time to put in attendance, grade assignments, enter grades, catch up on emails, etc. There should be no scheduled meetings during this time. If we require all students to be remote for the 2nd half of the day, I don't think we would have to add days to our calendar. Right now we are asking teachers to pivot and change things rapidly. We are asking them to teach 6-7 in-person classes PLUS 6-7 remote classes. Then they have their conference period taken away once a week to cover for teachers who don't have a team planning period. We are asking them to do so much more and yet we are giving them less time than before. In my opinion, it is unreasonable to ask so much and not give the tools (tools = time) to accomplish what is required. Side note: we would want to rotate the schedule so that Friday week 1 would be periods 1-4 in person, Friday week 2 would be periods 5-8 in person, etc. Complicated? A bit. But it would help with labs, hours needed for CTE (Career & Technical Education) courses, etc.

I hate to sound like I'm being negative or I'm just looking for things to complain about. I am extremely grateful for the job I have and for the team I am privileged to work with. However, I also recognize where improvements can be made. 

Personally, I am only slightly behind in my work. I have worked overtime every week since at least the first week of September, but I feel like it's probably since August started. I feel fairly confident that I will be able to get back to 40 hour work weeks this week or next. Oh dang. I just remembered that it's the end of the grading period so parents are able to switch their learning option (whether their student is remote or in-person). That 40 hour week may have to wait a while longer.*

Church

My Thursday night small group is going well. I love those guys so much. It's really awesome to realize that these people who used to intimidate me are now my friends. I can now recognize that they are regular people like me. I hate name dropping but I'll just say that they are intimidating because we have a former headmistress, a bigwig in the county government, heads of companies, THE lady who runs all the "behind the scenes" at the church (there's always one!), et al. Back when this group started in February, I was pretty darn scared of trying to lead them. Now I'm 100% comfortable with them and just love how we can really be ourselves around each other.

Our church now offers two services on Sundays: a live Facebook video stream of the service at 9am and a communion service in the parking lot at 10:30 (masks required, socially distanced, etc). I haven't been going to the parking lot service because it's limited space and I feel like I don't need to be there. You see, 80% of our congregation is 55 years or older. For many people, church is their main form of socialization. I am so incredibly blessed to have a wonderful spouse and to enjoy where I work so, socially speaking, the pandemic isn't that bad for me. If someone is only able to leave their house for Sunday communion service, I don't want to take their spot. However, I dearly miss the Eucharist. I won't go into details just now but suffice it to say that I feel a very person connection to God when I take communion and it's hurting to keep waiting for it. I think that I will talk to my church and see if the parking lot service usually fills up. If there's space for me, I would love to go even if it's only once per month. Here's hoping!

Time to wrap things up

As usual, this post really got away from me. It's funny how I always think "Oh, I'll just post a quick update" but once I start typing I think of a million things I want to write down! It's especially odd because all at once I want EVERYONE in the world to read this (hello, ego!) but part of me wants NO ONE to read it because I do my best to be completely honest here. Honesty means vulnerability and feeling vulnerable makes me pretty darn anxious. I guess that's why I like having a blog but I'm not sure I would want to do a vlog (video blog). It's nice to be able to edit quickly and easily well before hitting the "publish" button. Anywho, thank you for reading my ramblings. This post has been especially cathartic. Lots of love and peace to all of you!

P.S. - I was just about to publish this when I realized that I would love to talk about Halloween! Gah! Maybe next time. 

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*I'm sure a few of you are rolling your eyes that I ever work just 40 hours per week. Please keep in mind that I make well below the annual median personal income in the US. I made a trade-off when I chose this job: much lower pay for much lower stress and fewer hours. I do not regret this decision but I dislike the implication that just because I don't work as many hours as others means I don't work hard/there's no way I could be mentally exhausted. Each individual can handle a different amount of stress and, therefore, a different number of hours working a certain job. Please believe me when I say that, some weeks, working 45 hours at my job is truly exhausting.

-Clare G. S.

Waking Up White

This is a long post but I've divided it into sections to hopefully make it more readable. Please read the first section but feel free to skip any others that aren't of interest to you. 😊

Racism in the US

Things are really quiet again about racism here in the US. The good news is my church will be starting a book study of the book Waking Up White by Debby Irving. I'm facilitating the group that will meet Thursday evenings at 6pm. This is a great book to start the conversation about race. I know many will dislike that the book we are reading is from the point-of-view of a white person but I think that's why it's a good start. We cannot fix a problem if we don't see that it exists. This books shows what we as white people don't see (I very much include myself in this group) and it's very easy to relate to the author and recognize that I see the world through a very similar filter that she sees. I would love for you to join us in reading this book! Please note, even though this is being done by my church, you do not have to be Christian to join us. As long as you are comfortable with us starting and ending each meeting with a prayer and are comfortable with people talking about race through the lens of Christianity, you are welcome to join us! You can click here to sign up. Choose Thursday evening if you would like to be in my group.  

COVID-19

Remember how last time I wrote I was in a 14 day quarantine? Well go figure, on day 14 I had a sore throat and a slight cough. After consulting with a medical doctor, they ordered a COVID-19 test. Y'all, they have to swap the back of my throat . . . THROUGH MY NOSE. Then they held the swab there for 10 seconds. It felt like they were scratching my brain stem. It was weird. My test came back negative so I was able to return to work. My county now has 3,831 cases (just shy of 1% of the population) with 37 deaths. My county has been ordered that classes cannot start in-person until September 8th. Many school districts chose to start online at the usual date (around August 19th) but Temple ISD has chosen to start all classes on September 8th. I think this is the better decision for our population since so many students do not have internet and/or a computer device at home. The parents were able to fill out a form last week to let the district know if their student would spend the first grading period on-campus or learning online at home. For the three days that form was open, I spent my entire time at work helping people access it. It's a little sad because the platform that the survey was on, Skyward, is the same platform that parents have to use to see grades, attendance, bus information, and to update their information (phone numbers, emergency contacts, etc). We had a lot of families whose students have been in the district for many years but they have never logged into Skyward. I'm hopeful that now that they know it exists and how to log-in that they will actually use it instead of relying on their student logging into the student profile which doesn't have the same access as the parent profile.

Work

To be perfectly honest, last week was insane. Monday was the first weekday in August which meant suddenly everyone wanted to enroll/withdraw. I spent the entire day on the phone with parents letting them know how to enroll or withdraw and reassuring them that there is still time since classes don't start until September 8th (THANK GOD). Tuesday was a normal day but Wednesday through Friday was crazy due to that form I told you about a moment ago. I had a panic attack at work on Thursday but luckily it was a pretty minor one and one of my dear friends stayed with me and was a calming presence until I was able to continue with my work. I'm nervous about this coming week because I think we are going to get many phone calls from parents who missed the deadline to fill out that form. Our campus plan is to call those parents to get the information but the parents aren't aware of that. I'm hoping the district will send out a message to let parents know what they should do if they didn't fill out the form. Plus, we have mandatory training so I won't have as much time to do my job. That's why I'm really grateful that the first day of school has been pushed back; it gives me more time to enroll students.

The Sunroom / Water Heater Closet

In the sunroom is our water heater closet. Since it used to be an "outside" closet and now it's enclosed, we decided it was a good time to clean it up. Here are some before photos. I didn't think to take them before we took out the table in there (unfinished wood with obvious rat chew marks) but it gives you an idea of what we started with.

We were about to paint when I thought to take photos. That's why the water heater and floor are covered.

No light fixture, just a bare bulb with a mismatched cord as a pull-chain. You can tell Matthew had to do a lot of work to take down the popcorn texture.

After adding texture and a fresh coat of paint, you can barely recognize it!

The floor you can just see in that second picture didn't last long. It was a one-part epoxy. We thought "Great! This will be easy to apply and it will be durable". NOPE. It was easy to apply and then, even after it was fully cured, it could be chipped up easily with a putty knife. Heck, painter's tape pulled up some of it. We then used a two-part epoxy that we bought on sale years ago and planned on using in the garage. We figured we would use it here since we had it and because we aren't completely sure that it would cover the entire garage. 

We also got a proper light fixture with pull-chain and recently Matthew installed some shelves. We haven't finished with them because we still have a few decisions to make about placement and such.

Here's hoping I never have to get the 50 lbs bag of dog food from that top shelf! Thank God for tall, strong spouses!

Let's finish off with some photos of the amazing counter Matthew custom built. He constantly blows me away with his craftsmanship and ingenuity. 💜

This is the "cave" that Loki was hiding under in my last post.

The view from the dining room and you can see that Matthew did a great job finishing the wall and making the "frame" for the cut out.

Due to the issues with the epoxy I mentioned in my last post, we decided to completely re-pour the epoxy again with the understanding that there will NOT be a third time. The first time we pulled the tape (it makes a dam to keep the epoxy from running over the edge too early) too early plus the primer peeled up. Yesterday we poured again and we pulled the tape too late which means we have obvious drips on the edges. We are discussing how we will fix it. The good news is that the top looks AMAZING and its going to be very durable. I'll show y'all what we have in my next post. 

Since school is starting up soon, I would like to leave with some prayers we said today during our church service (online). They really spoke to me.

A prayer for students

For the students who struggle with learning, give them patience, confidence, and grace. Help them to know the many ways that you've gifted them, even if reading, math, or memorizing don't come easy. For the student for whom learning does come easily, help them with the gift of humility. May they all know enough challenges to keep them sharp, strong, and grateful and enough successes to keep them engaged, confident, and proud of themselves. For the students who are lonely, hurt, unsafe, unwell, anxious or depressed. Breathe your peace and health into them; may they be supported by people who understand them and love them.

For the teachers

For the brave souls who wake each morning at the crack of dawn to educate other people's children and love them like their own. It's a tough job, God, please keep them from growing weary and cynical. Wrap them in your love, your peach, your wisdom, and your goodness. Help them to see the many ways that their gifts inspire learning, creativity, and compassion. And, please make sure they get enough good coffee, chocolate, and support from parents and administrators to keep 'em going.

For the parents

For the parents, that you would grant them wisdom as they lead their children in the way they should go, whether their children are home-schooled, learning online, or have gathered in a school. Give parents grace when they feel discouraged, and strength to do the work needed to support and raise their children well. May you grant them opportunities to connect with their children and be positive voices of influence.

For those who support learning

For the bus drivers, crossing guards, school safety officers, administrators, and aids. Bless those who keep our children safe. For cafeteria workers, janitors, nurses, and helpers. Bless those who help our children stay healthy. For librarians, music and art teachers, counselors, therapists, chaplains, volunteers, and administrators. Bless those who tend to our children's hearts and souls.

For those who grive

For those grieving the loss of children. This season can be so hard for them as first-day-of-school pictures populate their social media feed. Wrap them in your love and grace, Gracious God.

-Clare G. S.

Going Back to Work

I know parents of school-age children won't like to hear this but the 2020-2021 school year is just around the corner. Tomorrow is my first day back at work for the new school year. I'm excited to see my coworkers and a glance at my inbox makes me a little anxious. The first day of school is 5 weeks away. Let's do some updates, shall we?

Racism in the US
I'm disappointed that the push to make real changes to end systemic racism in the US has really slowed. The only changes that seem to happen are symbolic and don't really help. It's great that we are analyzing if confederate statues should be kept and if so where they should be (it makes me think of El Valle de los Caídos in Spain) but that won't change how Black people are treated. I'm proud that my church is starting a book study that I hope will help each of us evaluate how racist we are. Some background info: we are a predominantly white, older (median age above 50), conservative Episcopal church. I think many of us have racist thoughts/tendencies that we don't even recognize. I'm very hopeful that this book study will start some introspection that will lead us to be more welcoming to BIPOC (black, indigenous, and people of color) so that we can better represent the community where we are located. The world is a mess and this is one area where I feel like we need change to improve everyone's lives but it's so damn hard to get that change.

COVID-19
My county has 2,137 confirmed cases (.5% of the population) and 14 deaths. Yes, it has been 2 months since I last updated the numbers here on the blog but even with that in consideration our numbers are growing much more rapidly than before. It feels like everyone is now discussing how schools will open. The federal government says that schools must be open 5 days a week and it sounds like they are implying that it must be in-person. I say f*ck them; very little of our funding comes from them and they are NOT taking into consideration the safety of doing that. It is up to states and individual school districts to decide how to open. Today I watched a short video with Governor Cuomo's plan for opening schools in New York. If in an area the infection rate is under 5% (averaging the past 14 days) the schools will open. If at any time the infection rate is above 9% for any 7-day average, the schools in that area will close until the rate gets below 5% again. I really like that his plan is completely based on data. I'm not sure about the number choices but it looks like they came from the WHO. The TEA (Texas Education Agency) has said that schools must re-open and must give the choice to have on-campus instruction within a few weeks of school starting. Right now the infection rate for Texas seems to be over 15%. I think this is foolish. I think that we should look at it county by county or even smaller sub-populations. For example, my county is doing pretty well all things considered. We will probably be ok if we open our schools (knowing that some families will choose to have their children do remote learning) but I would not feel the same way if I lived in Dallas county (just shy of 35,000 confirmed cases and a population of more than 2.6 million which means over 1.3% of their population is confirmed positive).  I will be interested to see what the numbers look like in 4 weeks.

On a personal note, my husband and I may have been exposed to COVID-19. A friend of ours was taking care of his parent who has COVID-19. The friend did not tell that to us when we invited him over for dinner. A week after the dinner he informed us that he had tested positive for COVID-19. We went into self-quarantine and will stay under quarantine until it has been 14 days since our exposure. We have had no symptoms and the 14 days is nearly up. I contacted my doctor and they said that if we show no symptoms in 14 days then we are ok to go back to "normal". That means social distancing (6 ft or more between people), wearing a mask in public, and washing our hands frequently.

The Sunroom
We have gotten SO much done since I last posted about the sunroom! First of all, we sprayed texture on the ceiling. Here's a "before" picture:

No texture, lots of patches

Texture sprayed and my ingenious way of protecting the air vent while keeping the cool air coming

Dried texture (which, admittedly, you can't really see well in a photo)

We painted the ceiling to match the almond color of the rest of the room but I forgot to take photos of that. Honestly, it's just a ceiling. Next up my spouse starting building the counter. It's important for you to understand his DIY moto: If I'm going to take the time to build it, I'm going to over build it. This counter (with cabinet underneath) has no hollow points and is bolted into the wall for support which means it doesn't need additional legs for support.

The beginning of the base of the cabinet

Our dog, Loki, enjoyed sneaking into the dining room thanks to this whole in the wall.

Support in the wall so that the cabinet will "float"

See? No hollow places. The counter has LONG 2x6's in it.

Loki quickly found his own little "cave"

Then Matthew built the half-wall between the sunroom and the dining room so that the dogs would stop getting into the kitchen and stealing our sponges. Unfortunately I forgot to take a "finished" photo so you get an "in-progress" photo for now.

I think that's plenty for now. Next time I'll show you how much better the water heater closet looks and hopefully we'll be ready to show the nice finish on the top of the counter! We poured the epoxy for the counter top but ran into some issues. It may be finished in a week, it may be another month. Oh the adventures of DIY! 

Since today is an election day, I would like to end my post with the same prayers I had in my last post. Please go out and vote to make your voice heard!

A prayer for those who influence public opinion:

Almighty God, you proclaim your truth in every age by many voices: Direct, in our time, we pray, those who speak where many listen and write what many read; that they may do their part in making the heart of this people wise, its mind sound, and its will righteous; to the honor of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

A prayer for the oppressed:

Look with pity, O heavenly Father, upon the people in this land who live with injustice, terror, disease, and death as their constant companions. Have mercy upon us. Help us to eliminate our cruelty to these our neighbors. Strengthen those who spend their lives establishing equal protection of the law and equal opportunities for all. And grant that every one of us may enjoy a fair portion of the riches of this land; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

-Clare G. S.

The Sunroom is Usable

Look! It's been less than a month and I'm writing a post! *gasp* What insanity is this‽

Work
There's not much to report here. I'm doing my best to get student records so that teachers can put in grades and wind things up for the semester. It's nice to be able to go on campus without having to check with the principal first. I'm still working mostly from home with a trip or two to the school each week to print records, mail papers, etc. I'm expecting to start working everyday on campus next week since people will be withdrawing their students if they are moving over the summer. Our superintendent announced yesterday that we will have an outdoors graduation ceremony in mid-June for our graduating seniors. Since there is construction just outside of our football stadium our nearby university is allowing us to use their football stadium. To follow safety regulations, each graduate will only be allowed 2 guests and the guests must have a ticket to enter. It happens to be that the graduation is on my last day of work before my summer break so it will be a celebration for me as well!

Health
There are now 220 confirmed cases of COVID-19 in my county with 131 recovered and no new deaths. I still wear a face mask when I go to stores or when I'm walking the hallways at work. I had lunch at a restaurant today. I was nervous but I know that I need to slowly increase the risks I'm taking. Things are looking pretty good for my area. On a more personal note, my husband and I are doing well. In late March and early April I was having panic attacks and it was pretty frequent that I was on the edge of an attack. I'm really glad to report that my disposition is much more even and I usually have enough energy/motivation to do my work along with housework. Unfortunately my sleep health is still off. The past week was especially bad and I don't know why. Last night I slept well so hopefully it was a fluke. I also seemed to have caught a 24-hour stomach bug or something recently (my only symptom was really bad nausea) but I'm doing just fine now.

Home
We are continuing work on the sunroom/solarium (seriously guys, help me think of a name for this room!). The brick is now cleaned and sealed. Man, that sealant stuff stank when we put it on but it was worth it! The brick now has a nice gloss to it and the mortar doesn't come off if you brush against it.

It's hard to show off the finished product since it's clear

We hired a company to pour a polyurea floor. It came out great and it should last decades!

Before any flooring

Finished floor!

My husband also re-finished the closet door and it looks a million times better!

This is a mid-point photo. I forgot to take a "before" photo.

Finished and glossy!

My husband also repaired and painted the section where the old porch ceiling meets the new ceiling.

Lots of caulking and wood putty to fix holes and such

Much more uniform!

You can tell that we are starting to fix the old porch ceiling. My spouse has put in screws to help secure the boards. I have learned how to spray wall texture and we should be doing that soon. After the texture is up and dry, we'll paint the ceiling and that part will be finished!

This is what wall texture looks like when you first spray it

We still need to do the following:

• Texture the ceiling and paint it
• Build the counter (that will be 99% my spouse, he's great at building things with wood)
• Clean the closet (such as wiping down the walls, patch holes, repaint the walls, etc)
• Build shelves for the closet (again, this is a spouse thing)
• Move the fish aquarium to the new counter
• Move-in the birds

I can't believe that the room is so close to finished! I am really excited to have a guest room so that family can actually spend the night at our house when they visit. The dogs already enjoy the sunroom and I think the birds will really like having huge windows and being able to watch us while we are in the kitchen and living room. I hope all of you are doing well! If you can think of what to call our new room, please tell me in the comments!

-Clare G. S.